you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
