I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
