Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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