ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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