he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
