yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it glows. i had to have it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
