We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
