He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
