I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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