it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
