i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She bit a glass in half.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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