butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
