Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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