So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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