My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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