thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
