we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
