He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
