im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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