You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you will always have a special place in my vag
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
