You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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