ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
