Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
