sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The Olympian is in my bed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
