I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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