Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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