He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
