he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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