Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
