You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
