uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
