i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Pooping to opera.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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