and she was petting her beer can
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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