I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
