Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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