Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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