he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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