i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
