bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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