my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
