I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
