Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
