we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
zippers are such a cool invention
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
