he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
