If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
