I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
