I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
