Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
