Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
