There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
