we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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