At least make sure they are 18
Why
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
