just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
