i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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