super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize