So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
