So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
