Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
