Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
